by Jess and Glnzr, feat. Dingle

The next round of playoffs is here and we’ve got a spicy round of 8. Here are our brief thoughts and predictions and a friendly ask to take photos of game play (and send to the media) so I don’t have to keep using barely laughable memes.

FK vs Lbs

Jess: The Lbs struggled early against the Sky Fighters last week while FK breezed by the Rainbows. My unbiased media opinion: I think FK takes this in OT and it’s not because of the sheer number of French Canadian dudes (the Lbs guys easily match them in skill), but because their female players are better than the Lbs girls. My biased media opinion: I’d like to see the underdogs win, but also what world are we in where the Lbs are the ‘underdogs’. 

Russo: I have no idea what state Ariel lives in these days.

Rich: FK has superstar depth that the Lbs. don’t have. Avery/Sam vs. Gabe/French Canadian 1 is around equal but the next 3 best players are prob FC 2-4. Meg is the best woman (not girl!, Jess!) in the league, but Kelsey is right up there and Boylan will shank some of those Colby rookies if they get in her way. I have Fresh Kills 4-2. 

Jess: I will call myself and my peers “women” until we’re all 40 or in a professional setting, whichever comes first. 

Karma vs Mega

Jess: I’m really excited for this one. I feel like this could go either way but Karma has been on a roll and even with Courtney back in I think it will fall in Karma’s favor thanks to the idiot strength of Derek/Austin (feat. Kev), 3-1 in regulation. Sad because I want to see Mega v Cobra Kai and have us all place bets on which team Julie and Olivier’s kid will root for. 

Rich: Whoever wins this game will have the support of the BTSH Universe to win the PBR Cup (Unless you regularly get Friedman’s email in which case you’ll root for Al-Qaeda over Karma).

While my prediction is 4-2, Karma. Who do I root for? If Karma wins I have to read a 472 word email from Friedman. But if Mega wins I have another week of Julie complaining that someone named Jeff B. might be 7 minutes late. 

Russo: @Rich, did you count how many words were in that email?

Rich: I only do that for Hogg. (eyes emoji)

Cobra Kai vs Poutine

Jess: People are favoriting The Dojo for this one but once again in totally unbiased media opinion (and nothing to do with my personal grudge against Yetter for leaving us 3 days before the season), I think Poutine will win this one in OT. CK is good at generating chances but not capitalizing on them and Poutine has a stronger defense than The Hookers. With Jack back from Hawaii and Charlotte back from her injury—not to mention Dicky coming off a strong performance in net and Campbell/Casca constantly switching (that can’t be good for their psyches)—I think the Poo Crew will be very formidable indeed.

Rich: Bruce Springsteen often sang about his problems with his father. In the classic, “Independence Day” he says, “I guess that we were too much of the same kind.” Bruce could have been singing about these two teams…though it would have been weird since no one on these teams besides JJ were alive when he wrote the song. 

While neither team has a plethora of superstars like FK, they have a great goalie and gritty players that often shutdown superstars. I’ve been a Poutine fan for years. I have said they will win a championship. But I’ve battled CK too many times to bet against them. The last two seasons they’ve made the semis. I expect the same result.  3-1 for the evil Dojo. 

Biters v Fuzz

Jess: Can the Biters keep the momentum from their upset over the Rehabs? Fuzz barely beat the Butchers (Rich claims this is because they used a ringer goalie without asking). Fuck it, everyone gets an OT, I predict they take it 2-2 and Mike T scores the gwg in OT.

Russo: Was it really an ~upset~ with Probie on the team?

Rich: For the record, I almost always pass it laterally or forward to Cutler, so I wasn’t the one she was admonishing.