By christo_the_hawk 

Everyone’s favorite and totally not overdone, previews!

WTP vs Fresh Kills

Fresh Kills got their hineys handed to them last week by the dojo. Even though the Colby farm system has plenty of talent, WTP is a well-rostered machine that can’t be stopped. Also Henry is back from being on vacation so WTP’s defense should be pretty solid and we can all see if the love connection between him and Tarny will result in some on-court chemistry.

Actual photo of Hogg, calculating stats, recalibrating reffing rules, and deciding who to poach next.

Prediction: WTP 4 – FK 2

Gremlins vs Poutine

Will Walker give Charlotte an early wedding gift and allow the Poo Crew to sneak an early goal past the Gremlins’ defense? Maybe, but if the usual suspects on the Gremlins show up it’s bound to be a tough game.

Prediction: Erich rolls up his sleeves to score the tying goal (and get rid of his awful farmer’s tan), 3-3 regulation, Poutine gets the win in OT thanks to their psycho offensive line.

Hookers vs Rehabs

With a stacked schedule the first few weeks it’s tough to be a hooker, but that’s life. Rehabs didn’t score as much as I thought they would last week but if Sena comes back and everyone snorts the same pre-workout Hicks uses I’m sure they will be hyped and hungry for goals.

Prediction: Cro shows up to actually play instead of shuffling around the courts in a Tommy Bahama shirt but it’s still not enough and the hookers get pounded, 4-1 Rehabs.

Math Rot vs Rainbows

Facing off twice in their division last year, Gut Rot and Rainbows each took home a win, and Math vs Rainbows was a bit of a blow out (thanks to 3 goals from an ex-math member). This new combo might result in a close game.

Prediction: Legally, I cannot make a prediction about my own team. We both win and we all hug. Go complain about it in the comments.

Filthier vs Lbs

Another good 1st division match up, even though Lbs won last week it was by the skin of their teeth. These two should be pretty evenly matched, both with a lean team and making use of skilled subs. Ann might still be flying high from the Islander’s victory and unleash a flurry of goals in the final minutes of the second half, but with Zisser being a far more competent goalie than the Bruin’s empty net, the goals will not come easy.

Prediction: 3-2, Filthy wins in the final minutes of regulation.

Butchers vs Cobra Kai

Did you guys know Liam scored 3 goals last week? Liam is really good. I’m saying Liam’s name a lot because apparently the media needs to name drop more according to my anonymous source on Cobra Kai. Liam Liam Liam. Now that that’s out of the way, I think this new-ish Butchers team could give the dojo a run for their money. Apart from LJ and Sienna, CK is hurting for some female talent due to various absences this season. 

Prediction: The bad guys win, 3-1 CK.

Mega Touch vs Sky Fighters

Having just played Mega, they definitely don’t go down without a fight. Sky Fighters might start out a bit soft with this being their official first game thanks to a bye last week but they could also be hungry to play…and win.

Prediction: Mega wins 2-1, but Emily beats everyone in a push up contest after.

Karma vs Demons

Karma has a lot of new talent in addition to their long-time solid players. They’re used to playing with each other, have solid scorers, and a few almost-Chadwick-sized players. Keep an eye out for a sparky new guy on the Demons named Jeff—he’s talented and will be the one physically trying to knock everyone over. 

Prediction: Karma wins 4-2, Chadwick activates his juggernaut powers and the demons’ players bounce off of him like gnats.

Live shot of Chadwick standing on the sidelines of a previous game.

Ankle Biters vs Fuzz

Fuzz has a new crop of ball hockey ringers on their team and the Biters came out flat against the Rehabs last week. Let’s all cut newly-engaged Probie some slack since he was feeling the love and celebration vibes. I’m anticipating a tougher game this time around but old school talent vs men’s league pro players does not bode well for a fair fight.

Prediction: A physical game with a lot of turnover but Fuzz wins 2-0.