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3 Stars of Week 3

By Glnzr

In Week 2 Cat gave 3 stars to a most likely drunk train conductor, Probie and Charlotte who got engaged several weeks prior, and Ben Chadwick because he was on an email exchange with Cat. Not to name drop, but I’m on a text chain with Probie and he alerted us of his engagement. It happened prior to Week 1 of the BTSH Season, the week I did the stars! So sadly, I’m negating Charlotte and his Week 2 Star because the event had already happened. Nice try Cat. 

Cat angrily walking away after love got cancelled

***Tadpole Jack 

The 3rd star was a battle between Jack and his gf Annie. True story, when deciding between who I’d give the 3rd Star to, I had forgotten they were dating. It brings me so much joy to only give one of them stars, not both. This has to kiiiiiiiiill Cat. I hate love! 
Each made a strong case. Jack never played net in BTSH before and beat the mighty Rehabs. Annie torched the Zisser and the Lbs. in a shootout, which made me happy because she beat my team with the Lbs. in a shootout in Week 1. In the end, I felt Annie was a little more deserving, but Jack watched Hero while I played, so he gets the star. There will be no draining of the swamp when I’m doing the stars. 

It takes Tadpoles 14 weeks to turn into frogs, and a couple of years or so to turn into emergency backup goalies

**Coach/Dan Hopper/Edge

Dan Hopper and Coach have had legendary careers…with much different arcs yet sorta intertwined. jA young Hopper won the PBR Cup in 2009 with the Sky Fighters and remained with the team until he left after their semi-final loss on November 1, 2015. That evening, Dan joined the coveted BTSH HOF. Heart-broken over his loss, but overcome with pride over his induction, Hopper moved to Calif, realizing he’s accomplished all he can do in NY. Or maybe he left bc of his job or a girl. How the hell should I know?

Joining Hopper in the HOF on Nov. 1, 2015 was Coach. He had an amazing career with the Demons, going from player to emergency goalie to one of the leagues all-time best goalie, but not better than Craig, according to Craig. But on that fateful night, Coach also decided to leave, but he did not head west like Hopper, he went around 45.1 miles to Babylon and joined Fuzz. It took him 3 years, but in the end, he got his PBR Cup and went out on top. Like a drug, much like Edge, they all came back and now Coach has been reduced to Tim Brown’s whims and is Fuzz’s emergency goalie. Welcome back legends!

Look who that is in the Hopper picture. It’s Jesse Kalb! I miss that guy


Let’s face it, the Sky Fighters have been disrespected. First Hicks and Herr give them a bye on Week 1, and then in Week 2 Hicks tries to cancel their game due to Rain Fears over a passing drizzle. When was the last time the Media even mentioned a Sky Fighter? (The answer is literally the last paragraph) Emily had enough, and the Riots had too much of Emily. Emily scored 2 goals…striking a blow to every frat boy in NYC who dares challenges her to pushups at a bar. Russo/Jess, unless you want to be humiliated at center court by Emily’s freak pushup skills, I suggest you focus more on the Sky Fighters and less on Liam and his 3 goals he had in Week 1. 

Emily made every goalie in BTSH get on their knees and beg her not to get a hat trick
against them.

Participation Awards: Russ wasn’t at the Cobra Kai game so we’ll never know who played well. 

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