by Cat

Years of resentment have been temporarily soothed by an adorable deepfake of Hero playing catch, so this week I’ve buried the beef with Rich and can talk about other people for once.

But as BTSH media’s beef beat journalist, I’m not really sure where to turn to next…

First thoughts: Fresh Kills vs. The League. Recently called out for their lack of social participation, someone with the single most French-Canadian sounding name I’ve ever seen took to Facebook. To my knowledge still nobody has partied with them* (send tips to: mediabtsh@gmail.com) but it DID stir up old grudges from that one time they left Gut Rot with the bar tab.

Also we’re all just petty they’re smoking us on the court.

*Editor’s note: Russ did in fact, party with them. TBD if they paid their tab.

Second thoughts: Matt Kastella vs. The League. During his first performance I thought to myself, New York is back, baby! I missed Tompkins and its quirks! Life is a rich tapestry! Wow who knew someone could sing a worse Justin Timberlake impression than me drunk at Karaoke! Free Britney! At this point I am surprised that a West Court goalie stuck listening to him 10 feet away hasn’t jumped the fence.

*Editor’s note: Hicks is holding Russo and I captive in a Matt Kastella Fan Club instagram group chat. Send help.

I think my final beef might be with Canadians-not-googling-visa-stuff-before-traveling-outside-the-country? Just as my beloved Bows finally got Matt back after his trip to Italy resulted in a mandated stint in Canada, I received word that Stu from the Anklebiters (and my upcoming Ocean City team – GO CHEEKS) will be out. Ya’ll. Why.

Anyway, on to the stars:

THIRD STAR

The founding captain of What the Puck – Old Captain Larry! – returned after seven years away from BTSH and promptly scored against Cobra Kai in the first few seconds. 

Unfortunately the dojo regained their footing quickly and came back to win, but still – the guy knows how to make an entrance. 

In spite of this loss, WTP has been really impressive this season – exciting to see how the next few weeks pan out now that their pairings are really ramping up.

SECOND STAR

I’m gonna call it prematurely perhaps but – I think the Demons are on the up-and-up. OK beating the Rainbows at 12:30pm aka the game slot everyone is still hungover for might not be the biggest win of the season, but it was the least spicy game against the Demons I’ve ever played in. Tracy’s positive influence is spreading, they’ve got a new guy with impressive wheels and booty shorts, Sammy created so many chances from deep in the corner… maybe this is the momentum they need against the Skyfighters next week?

I lost the thread a bit but in summary:

This is sort of a generalized star for the Demons for re-branding from rain fears to, uh, sun cheers.

FIRST STAR

This week was a bit of a snooze in terms of star-worthy activities (see: giving the Demons a star) so I texted Isaac because I was like, why hasn’t Steve emailed me about Karma. It turns out that was because Karma had a bye week and Steve was in Tulsa.

So first star goes to the commissioners for creating bye weeks so that I was the happy recipient of these photos which I will now share:

*Editor’s note: Friedman you asked for this. Not literally but—no pun intended—karmically speaking.