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BTSH Play-Ins 2023

By: Jess, Russo, & Glnzr

We’re back BTSHers.

After an extended time away, your beloved preview writers are back from rehab their year-long break. What’d we miss? 

Let’s give the ol’ typing knuckles a crack and dive in to some delectable play-in games this Sunday

13) WTP vs 20) Bad Seeds

Jess: WTP has had a rough year but I truly don’t see them losing this one, sorry Seeds. They’ve had some close games this season and Casca in net is a huge edge. 

Russo: Hard to argue with Jess. We’ve got the best team* versus the worst team* in the play-ins to start us off. But WTP has struggled to find consistent scoring this year, led by McCauley and Yehuda predominantly. If Bad Seeds can sneak a couple past Casca early, who knows what could happen? 

*loosely based on 17 weeks of “hockey”

Rich: I am a Dave Gil de Rubio Truther. Put a good effort in front of him and he will play well in return. There’s a ton of untapped competitiveness on the Bad Seeds that can make this a game. As long as their vets show the same passion as their kids, this game will be close. I see a 4-1 WTP win but let me tell you, there is definitely a way for the Seeds to steal one here. 

14) Butchers vs 19th) Agents

Jess: I actually think this one could go either way and an overtime would be entertaining. The Agents, when they have their act together, can connect and score. I think there’s like 3 different guys named Jacob on the team who are all good and one of them is up there in league goals. They also played a pretty tight game against Poutine and took the Hookers to OT. The Butchers are scrappy, and while they’ve struggled to beat any teams out of 4th division besides one game vs the Demons, they’ve got solid veterans (Rachel, Art, Brady, Chadwick, Akhil), and talented newcomers in Maddy and Kate. 

Russo: Full disclosure, because of all the Jacobs on The Agents, I have no clue if I’ve been giving the right Jacob(s) the right goals this season. Please yell at the refs for not putting first, middle, and last name on the scoring sheets. 

I think this game comes down to depth and in my humble opinion, the Butchers have more of that. Some of that just comes with the team being around longer and building that nucleus. Agents have skill and I’m excited to see their team grow with a bit of consistency year over year. But right now, I don’t see Butchers losing this one. PROVE ME WRONG, GREEN! (And let me know how many Jacobs you have plz)

Rich: Russo, you can’t call yourself humble. If you give your opinion and say it’s humble, it’s literally not! 

Jess, Ben is not a solid veteran! My God, I’m working with amateurs here. Speaking of amateurs, I don’t see this being all that close. The Jacobs won’t get past the Butchers. I see a 4-0 win. But I’d like to remind the Butchers you did lose to the Rainbows before the pandemic in the playoffs so make sure you come to play. 

15) Karma vs 18) Demons

Jess: Do we have a medic on standby for this game? Karma should win this but not without a fight – literally (note: for legal reasons this is a joke, please do not fight, especially now that Jeff is gone there’s no reason to!!!). It’s the classic really-good-2nd-division-team-gets-moved-up-to-1st-division-where-they-proceed-to-lose-all divisional-games-and-as-a-result-have-a-terrible-record-and-have-to-do-play-ins but DON’T LET THEIR RECORD FOOL YOU. There really isn’t one weak player on the team besides AK, sucks he had to come back. The Demons were hurting a bit this year with the losses of Jeff and Neil (thanks Vertz) but have picked up some big dudes who don’t know the rules about high sticks and stick lifting (they’ll get it eventually I’m sure…) who seem talented. Then we’ve also got DRo and Rubens blasting shots from the point every chance they get. 

Russo: I don’t think you need to hyphenate all that. That’s just a sentence. Anyways, Karma is full of players who decided to move out of state only to realize New York is #1 and are now back. Sup, Derek and AK who I know don’t read these things. But yeah, those two Empire State turncoats pack an offensive punch that’s seldom matched in this league. Demons have had a solid pipeline over the years, but it looks like they’re trending in the wrong direction for this one with a 2024 D4 demotion imminent. 

Jess: Rich is probably googling “what is a turncoat” rn. Also I live for the media solely making sure AK and Derek don’t get too cocky. But Friedman can be cocky because he’s a great tendy. 

Russo: Great hair too. Love ya Steve 😉

Rich: What is a turncoat? Larry, Gil, Walsh and myself all Tea Partied the stupid Brits out of Boson in 1776! Also Karma didn’t lose all their games against top division teams. ?

This is what we call in wrestling a squash match. 6-0 Karma. 

16) Gremlins vs 17) Riots

Jess: To me, these teams are two sides of the same coin: really strong goaltender support with some bad luck in a handful of games this season. The Gremlins started out this season poorly but have gone on a hot streak, winning 4 of their last 5 games. Meanwhile the Riots who seemed like a divisional powerhouse last season only managed to snag 4 total wins this season. Given where things currently stand I’m going to give this one to the Gremlins in a tight game 2-1.  

Russo: Previews are fun, why don’t we do these every week? Actually nvm. Barring any major upset predictions from Glnzr, we’ve picked the favorite team in each matchup to win so far. Not exactly groundbreaking journalism. So let’s shake this mf up. I’m picking the Riots to pull off the “upset” here in a nail-biting OT game. 

Let’s break down the season stats for each team: 

-# of Goals/season: Gremlins, 31 // Riots, 29
-Record: Gremlins, 5W – 9L – 1T // Riots, 4W – 9L – 1T (where’d that missing game go??)
-Top Scorers: Gremlins, Rodney, 6 // Riots, Kevin, 7

It’s only fair that the final score is as close as their stat lines. 

Rich: This game is up to Eric. If the 2015 version who wanted…nay demanded…NAY COMMANDED Gut Rot to finish 12th (by performing the single greatest day in BTSH history, subbing against the teams who were 12th and 13th and winning his own game to jump to 12th, and giving up just 1 goal in the 3 games)l…then the Riots will win. But that Eric was captured and beheaded by ISIS and this new version is here so I’ll go with the best new ref Alison and the Grems, 2-1.

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