← Back to Media

Hall of Fame Inductee: Diane

by Glnzr

2008 was a magical season for BTSH. It’s when the Modern Era began (2008-2015) and The Previous Era Before the Modern Era ended. But perhaps most importantly, it’s when Diane J. (and the Happy Little Elves) joined the league.

Gratuitous Elves photo  that has nothing to do with Diane

After losing to the Elves in Game 1 (I swear this will be the last Elves reference, though there’s still one more picture that has the Elves in it), the Tuque’s captains decided they needed a ringer, and called Diane. Diane stayed with the Tuques for a few years, but as with many BTSHers, Diane felt the pull of Poaching Season and shopped for a new team in 2012. For some reason she had a Mexican Standoff Jersey, and the prospect of playing with Ellery proved too alluring to pass up, so she joined Gut Rot (who had previously been Mexican Standoff)

Diane is sweetly kissing Ellery but pretty sure Rachel is sucking his blood  

In one of her first games for Gut Rot, they played Math and Diane paid the ultimate price. Zach N. had literally his only good game of his career, scoring four goals against Gut Rot. Diane immediately called Gabe and said there will be no second date, and started dating Zach instead. It was a mistake that she will dearly pay for the rest of her life. 

True story, two of Zach’s friends fell off a raft or something overnight and were saved by fishermen the next morning.   

In 2016 Diane joined the BTSH admin by becoming Ref Manager/Scheduler. It was a rough season as much of the old guard left or were leaving, and a new admin was in place. The league needed a new yet trusted face guiding the way and Diane filled that role admirably. She took her role very seriously and really helped guide the league to a place where most of the league wanted it to go (A fun but safe place to chase an orange ball around). 

Zach undoubtedly lost this faceoff. 

But it was 2019 where for me, I noticed Diane prosper both as a player and captain. First off, as a captain dealing with Becca should make you automatically in the HOF. But in truth, I remember reffing a Gut Rot/Riot game and there were some players new to hockey. It’s kinda a you had to be there moment but Diane was not only able to teach them where to be, but also play really solid on D. I remember thinking being a captain has made her step up her game. Which is why it’s no surprise that one of her two proudest moments in BTSH is seeing new players on Gut Rot prosper (obviously no one can prosper playing on a team called Rotten Math).  “Seeing Rotters that had never played hockey before score their first goals and flourish in BTSH! It’s always so exciting and makes me feel like a proud parent.” 

Before we go, let’s also celebrate some little known facts about Diane.

  • She is good not great at Words with Friends
  • Practices Tae-Bo with Billy Blanks on her VCR every morning before her morning oatmeal. 
  • Teamed with Rachel Greene to help run the Rose Charity Tournament for many years. 
  • Let Rachel go on stacked Rose Charity teams where she went on to win every season, and Diane languished in last place because her best player was Zach. #Yikes
  • Her other proudest moment is winning some game against some team but I forgot what game and other team it was.  I don’t want to talk about it.  
  • While most women in their 30s focus on career and bettering their lives, Diane quit her job so she can concentrate on not having the absolute worst name in BTSH history next season. 
  • (This is actually true) She starred in Chadwick and Walker’s short movie with Zach as parents to Rob Walsh’s daughters and Boylan playing a mermaid. They ended up eating Boylan for dinner. I would say it was BTSH’s first snuff video but I’m sure that’s not true. 
← Back to Media