PBR Semis & Finals + Schlitz Finals!
The last media article of the year!! With Finals upon us, we encourage everyone to come out and watch this Sunday at 2pm and then stick around for the BTSH Media Awards immediately after, which will be done right at the courts. And then, if you’re so inclined, go on down to Ace Bar for the end of year party – shout out to Jack for organizing.
PBR Cup Semis
Fuzz v Vertz
Jess: I’m just here to remind Rich that last week I explicitly said if the Vertz’ game went to a shootout they’d win and he said I WAS WRONG and it wouldn’t go to a shootout. Anyways, this time it’ll be too hard for the Vertz to fight back if they find themselves down 4 goals again.
Rich: And I’m just here to remind Jess that if the Vertz were down 4 to Poutine they would have lost as they were only down 3.
Jess ….math is hard for me and at one point it WAS 4-0.
Jess: YOU ARE DISTRACTING THE PUBLIC FROM THE PREVIEW. You know what, now the Vertz win 10-0.
Fresh Kills v Cobra Kai
Jess: Fresh Kills is like Fuzz but instead of Rich their resident old guy is Ariel. Cobra Kai losing the exemption vote on Siena will hurt them in the lady department this game but LJ, Charlotte, and Brita are more than capable to take on the Colby ladies.
Rich: Never before has a team needed the FAA to hold serve so badly. With Ariel and Meg flying in, and Liam flying out, this game is all about those underpaid pilots.
While Liam is a massive loss for CK, I wouldn’t write them off. They built their team on tenacity and one player doesn’t dictate that. FK has a very similar offense to Fuzz, and CK have given up 3,1 and 3 non-empty net goals the last 3 playoffs vs. us during regulation time. I think FK has to be the favorite as they will have the “FK 5” as well as the other 4 who prob are as good as those 5. I foresee a game where time of possession is clearly in FK’s favor, but CK will limit much of their chances to outside shots. However with this dominant O, they’ll get plenty of great opps too. Should be fun, glad I can’t watch it though.
PBR Cup Finals –The media has explored the possibility of all finals matchups, regardless of favoritism
Fuzz v Cobra Kai
Jess: I would LOVE to see CK finally beat Fuzz in a final. On paper it looks like Fuzz should win easily but something about when these two teams play against each other makes it incredibly close. I’m hoping for an OT and the good guys finally win.
Vertz v Cobra Kai
Hicks: One team has a snake logo, the other always has their snakes out. Please God, let this happen. ????
Fresh Kills v Fuzz
Jess: I think this is the one team that has the exact same type of male players as Fuzz and it will be incredibly interesting to see how they go toe-to-toe. I used to think Fresh Kills was the only team who could take down Fuzz but I still think Cobra Kai has their number. Once again, I am rooting for the ‘underdogs’ here…what kind of world do we live in where FK are the underdogs smh.
Vertz vs Fresh Kills
Jill Orange (Jim Apple’s cousin): Even though ‘don’t let the Vertz get hot’ is supposedly now banned – let’s pretend it’s not for a moment while I say the Vertz are as hot as a white dwarf star.
Unfortunately, even white dwarfs can cool off and if they get too cold they might lose to Fresh Kills, scientifically speaking of course.
Fresh Kills take the win 3-1 and the Vertz slowly morph into a red dwarf, and then a black hole, sucking up the entire universe and Tompkins as we know it.
Schlitz Cup final: Sky Fighters v Mega Touch
Rich: With all these unlikely scenarios this is the only one I think that can actually happen. Jess already said Vertz beats Fuzz 10-0. Then they obliterate FK. Hicks is flying high. He runs over to the Schlitz Cup and challenges the winning team, PBR vs. Schlitz. Julie accepts and Mega beats Vertz handily and wins both trophies. Hicks never even touches the Cup and also loses in D5 on Tuesday.
Cutler is seething mad and moves to Florida to live happily with Ariel. (I would have Sky Fighters winning but Wes is too classy to take another mans trophy, and obv Julie is not).
Jess: on a serious Schlitz note, the last time I reffed was mega touch v sky fighters and tbh it made me never want to ref again because it was HEATED. Seriously who would have thought. It was a little too close for comfort with a controversial Mega goal last time so I’ll give this one to sky fighters in OT please nobody yell at me!!!