Karsten Has A Tool For Everything

Color: White
Year Founded: 2002
2008 Regular Season Finish: 13-3-1 (2nd place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Fresh Kills in semifinals
Division: Schloeder
2009 Marketing Slogan: “We’re better than you.”
Key Additions: Dan Bernstein (Free Agent), Anne Grady (Relocation)
Key Losses: None

LBS, Inc. returns with its roster largely intact from the 2008 season.  However, the corporation has added a new intern and welcomed back a veteran employee to boost efficiency.  Director of Investor Relations Sam Anthony discovered Dan Bernstein on the street, while Bernstein was washing windshields for quarters.  Anthony was so impressed by the young entrepreneur’s business acumen and quick wrists that he hired Bernstein on the spot.  After an extremely successful stint in LBS, Inc.’s west coast branch in Los Angeles (working under VP of West Coast Operations Molly Jacobs), Anne Grady returns to the New York City office.  Grady’s experience will be a tremendous asset to the firm.

Despite these additions–and unlike just about every other BTSH team–LBS, Inc. remains largely pessimistic about its chances for the ’09 season.  CEO Sascha Puritz notes, “We are all older and fatter and slower and more out of shape than last year.  Oh, Karsten’s getting married! That’s some nice news but has nothing to do with hockey.”

Food They Closely Resemble: Caviar. Synonymous with luxury and wealth, they are usually recognized as the top status symbols among any of their peers.   However, one must also point out that they are still just eggs and have yet to reach their full potential.
Fast Fact: Sascha Puritz has never missed a deadline…ever.

ROSTER
Brad Allecia
Samuel Anthony
Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett
Dan Bernstein
Jason Bogdaneris
Tom Capatosta
Alexandra Chenitz
Karen Erickson
Anne Grady
Erica Lee
Sascha Lehman
Fernando Limonic
Karsten Pichon
“The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin
Sascha Puritz (C)
Dustin Shutes
Alex Simon
Seth Wachtell
Phil Yang