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Week 1 Not 3 Stars

By Glnzr


The Media realizes if we’re going to celebrate the 3 Stars of the Week, we really should be fair and bash the 3 players/teams that shamed themselves, their family, this league, and their country. If you get a Not Star please don’t take it the wrong way. This is meant to damage your psyche and mentally break you down, as you did to us with your wretched hockey.

*** The Vertz
After stealing all our best players and promising to dismantle teams 10-0, the Vertz opened with a dud. They were down 3-0 to the 2019 Schlitz Cup Champs WTP and laid an egg. Then they do the thing and make an incredible comeback which would be talked about forever but then they somehow lose in a LOLShootout. For shame, for shame. #RuinedCutler #ShouldHaveBroughtChloe 

** Anklebiters/Fuzz

In 2008 the Anklebiters played the Happy Little Elves after the season ended and Derk and Elly simply wrote, “Bad Hockey” in their previews. They were right as the Biters beat the Elves 9-0. Bad Hockey returned as we watched the worst shootout in the history of any type of hockey. It ended up going 22 rounds and Jeff almost had a hat trick as he went a ridiculous three times and scored twice. Every player from Fuzz missed twice besides Jeff and Ryann who happened to score. Most Biters missed twice as well, besides Probie and Sarah M. who scored to keep the LOLOLOLMAOshootout alive. Props to Chris and Jamie for enduring this atrocity in net. 

* Liam

Liam did not get a hat trick yesterday so all he is getting is this over-pixelated picture.

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