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Week 14 Previews

I have no reason for this I just wanted it to be the cover photo for this week’s previews

Poutine v Sky Fighters

Jess: This will be a fun one to watch. The Sky____Fighters are 3rd in the league with 16 points and Pou Crew is 1st with 18. I’m not expecting the Sky Fighters to go down without a fight but I’d be lying if I said I think they’ll win it. I hope they prove me wrong and hand Poutine their 2nd loss of the season but otherwise I’m thinking 4-2 Poutine.

Glnzr: After many of their players won the OC World Championship, I just can’t see the Sky Fighters losing. 4-1 for Sky. Jess goes back to Ica after her terrible prediction. 

Lbs v Fresh Kills

Jess: On paper (and ice) FK is the better team. But on blacktop the Lbs have better chemistry and skill. Lbs play like a cohesive unit and FK more often than not plays like individual power houses. I see this going to Lbs 2-1— unless Gabe decides to pop off again and score 4 goals or whatever he did the last week of games. Also, isn’t it time to fly Meg back in?

Glnzr: I’ll prob be reffing so I can’t give a prediction. But if I wasn’t reffing I’d say FK really needs to win this. Since Ariel called me after Game 2 of the regular season and told me his team would literally never lose again bc of the 5 ringers they got, they have yet to win against Fuzz or the Lbs. Now The Ringers have names…Marco, Louis (my fav), George…it’s time they take the next step. But the Lbs. are seemingly everyone’s pick to win it all this year. This isn’t October. I expect FK to get over the hump and win a really fun 3-2 win. 

Filthier v WTP

Hicks: WTP just shutout fuzz a week after losing 6-0 to filthier. Meanwhile filthier did their part to keep the vertz ice cold (I said, what’s colder than being cold? The vertz. The vertz are ice cold). I think WTP rides the momentum (or whatever is left of it) from the win 3 weeks ago to pull off the win here and set themselves up nicely for the home stretch. 

Glnzr: Anne, James, Tim K., and Ellie!

Vertz v Fuzz

Glnzr: This is certainly a grudge match for me. After Hicks prima nocta’d Cutler…he never gave her back. This game has been circled ever since. And look…I’m not a monster. There are good people over there. I love Elly. Otis is a great teammate and Jaimie is so much fun at the bar. And though we won’t have anyone good coming, Gil, Walsh and I are going to destroy them. And we are going to show Jack, he picks his BTSH teams like he picks his girlfriend. Poorly. 

Fuzz 10, Vertz 2

Commence the annual Rich v Annie feud

Alex: I’ve been told there are good people on both sides, but Rich is not one of them.  I would say Jack’s going to get revenge for that comment about Annie but it’s always a mystery if Jack will show up for a game, unless it’s playoffs in which case it’s obvious he won’t. Hicks told us not to let the Vertz get hot; thus far, the league has listened.  4-3 Fuzz.

Hicks: nothing like banging an ex to get out of a slump. Vertz by 7.

Alex:  Fuzz is the slumpbuster? Def staying to watch this game now.

Bad Seeds v Riots

Dingle: I’m feeling a bit riddle-y this evening, so here’s some Brain Busters for this matchup (Walker, I expect you to get them both right or your trivia card is revoked):

  1. Which is the correct kingdom of apple?
    1. Animalia
    2. Protesta
    3. Fungi
    4. Plantae
  1. Riddle me this: What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

*Answers at the bottom of the article

Ok, back to hockey. Two teams with inverse records face off as the 7-3 Riots go up against the 3-7 Bad Seeds. Prediction: Look for Riots to cruise to a 5-1 victory.

Karma v Anklebiters

Jess: The Biters have a team dinner this Saturday (read: Congee Village + Karaoke until 4am) so I’m not expecting them to be in the best shape. Meanwhile AK is rumored to be living in his mom’s basement so he may show up, leveling the playing field. Goaltending is going to be tight on both sides but I will give this to a very hungover Biters squad, 3-1. 

Dingle: I spoke with AK’s mom, and can confirm he’s living down there. We She wants him out. Karma has been reeling as of late, but to play a bit of devil’s advocate here, I predict Stevie stands on his head, and Karma WIN, 3-1. 

Gremlins v Mega Touch

Alex: It’s the team with the best women in the league vs the team with the best…70s inspired car logo?  If this was some kind of bizarre nostalgia contest Gremlins would have the edge and Walker would have an erection.  Sadly for him it’s a hockey game so Mega’s likely to win by 3 or more goals.  Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Dingle: This has all the makings of one of those “Who Can Touch the Car the Longest” competitions based on team names. You know, the ones they used to do in malls a while ago. Or just in TV shows. I dunno, my only knowledge of the 70s is from That 70s Show and the 80s is from Stranger Things. Anywho, I agree with Alex, but if there’s a car on the line, it’s a total toss-up. 

Butchers v Agents
Alex: It’s been a solid first season for the Agents – fun team name, decent spirit, the ever present possibility that Rob will score a goal and rip his shirt off.  Lots of reasons to like them.  Unfortunately, winning hockey games is not one of them.  5-1 Butchers.

Dingle: Unbeknownst to most, there’s a lot on the line in this one. And by a lot, I mean pride. With only four more games left for most teams this season, these two teams are battling for 3rd place in Division 4. While nothing is clinched here, nobody likes finishing last. I predict The Agents to pull off the “upset” here with an OT winner by Gabe. 

Cobra Kai v Hookers

Jim Apple: The league massively underestimates the second division. While Russ casually rides his electric scooter 15ft to the courts every Sunday, folks like Lee are getting to the courts early to do CrossFit (or a spin-off of CrossFit). Prediction: Lee does too much CrossFit and is tired for the game. Cobra Kai 5-3, no empty net. 

Jess: There is the chance for an empty net goal but Russ totally whiffs.

let it be known Jim Apple procured this photo

Dingle: That bar weighed a shitload fwiw. Also, jury is still out on the league’s opinion about the commish scootering to the rink from around the corner. Gives off this kind of vibe:

Look for the Hookers to hang around in the first half, but The Dojo pulls away to win it comfortably.

Hornswoggle: I’m late here, but I gotta pour one out for Cro. A personality to everyone, for sure, but given his propensity to rile folks up, I think he would have definitely enjoyed playing this game—top division, some physicality, some chirps, fast gameplay. Opinions on and off the court might have differed from most, but he played for his team and showed it. Get well soon, Cro!

Both squads have similar records, but suffice it to say that Lee and the Hookers need the points more. It’s either a tie for last place or the chance to leapfrog Filthier for a promotion, and every team in the second division is chomping at the bit knowing that any team can go anywhere. The Dojo can play for pride staying in the division, and though this match may seem lower on the difficulty level, resting on their laurels is not an option as the season rapidly concludes. Plus playoff position is critical for any team looking for a long run.

Hookers valiantly battle but fail to score more than the opposition, 5-3 Dojo.

Demons v Rainbows

Jess: I am personally inviting Jeff’s girlfriend to this game so he will be forced to play nicely.

Alex: If you think that’s going to make Jeff play nice, you’ve clearly never been in Jeff’s bedroom.

Jess: Just when I was happy to have you back writing previews you’ve made me regret everything. PREDICTION Rainbows continue their win streak and nobody gets slashed because we are all good people at heart, 3-2 OT. 

Dingle: Prediction, people are going to get slashed. 

ANSWERS to Seeds/Riots Preview: 1. D, Plantae // 2. The Boston Flea Party

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