By Stoop Dogg

Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good day! It’s your friendly neighborhood Stoop Dogg coming at you live from a little studio, ready, willing and able to bring you this weeks game previews. Having been on a year+ hiatus, howling at the moon, sniffing other stoops, etc. I am shooting totally blind to what teams look like in this Post-Cov-pocalyptic World. 

Cobra Kai vs. Gauging Anklebiters: 

I assume since Cobra Kai was a pretty young, NY based skwad, they’re about the same as they always were – fast, physical, and a bit mouthy. Anklebiters had already taken some serious hits to their roster pre-Covid but they were never a team to sneeze at with their poise and Probert’s speed and hands. 2-1 Anklebiters after a nail-biting round of OT. 

Mega Touch vs. Poutine Machine

Poutine Machine likely is returning with their standard roster of questionable morals but obnoxiously good players – they picked up Jack aka Cobra aka Mr. Beerbong and have always had a strong lady presence with Charlotte leading the charge. When you touch, you touch Mega – always a sneaky underdogg (so obvi huge fan here) bamboozling the more “skilled” teams who take them lightly – they got real busy in the off season, but likely in good shape chasing all their spawn around. 6-3 Poutine (but Mega, please, surprise us!)

Dark Rainbows vs. Instant Karma

Between these two teams, it’s not really a battle of hockey, it’s a battle of who can be nicer. Both teams who have done some serious rebuilding haven’t rebranded (and thank all the bones in heaven for that). Two quality fast teams, between Jess D’s speed and Derek’s biceps – going to give 3-2 Karma, but they will apologize afterwards and give you some beers.

Rehabs vs. Fresh Kills

Now this is a match up that will be very fun to watch, two great teams w/ serious sets of Lady Players. Rehabs are a POWER. Lady. Team. And I LIVE FOR IT! You’ve got Cherie with hands like butter and that absolute clap daddy (talk about clapping all night…the rest of the lyric is inappropriate), Sena and Carlin, power duo on and off the courts, defending the net, the blonde beauty Moe dangling, sniping, and cellying on the front lines, and let’s not forget Michelle, who is the ultimate lady, out on IR, carrying a potential future rehab bebe? Oh, and the Rehab doods are pretty good too. Fresh Kills is similar in that their guys are pretty good, but more background tot he center stage ladies (or at least that was the case?) Last I checked they had Rachel Solgon, Meg Fortier, Roxy Gaudiel, and at least one other who are highly skilled and forces to be reckoned with. Anyhoo, gotta go with Rehabs 4, Freshkills 3. 

Rotten Math vs. Denim Demons

Demons, I assume you guys are pretty much the same? Jenny-P captaining w/ two other great ladies, Miss Tracy and Sami Litt. They always had pretty highly skilled guys, with Miles, Gene, Mr. Sami Litt (I mean DRO), and a host of others. Rotten Math, everybody’s favorite combo meal, is tenacious, a little on the elderly side, but ridiculously smart which often plays to their advantage – also they have a pretty dope goalie. Assuming the Demons can keep their penalty count low, it’ll be a frustrating 5-3 loss in favor of the Double D’s.

Skyfighters vs. Riots

Riots have always been very proud of being super smart (which 100% something to be proud of) and Skyfighters wear blue and have a very respectful captain. They’re both teams of well adjusted adults with some solid, good athletes. Riots won’t go easily, but the Skyfighters will win out in the end, going with 4-2 Skyfighters.

Filthier vs. Butchers

The Butchers lost some players to marriage, pregnancy, and other teams, but they’re still just as scrappy as they’ve always been – don’t underestimate them, their captain’s friendly demeanor is just a facade. Filthier is a power house that isn’t to be underestimate though, especially if they still have James moving the ball up court and Anne hanging behind enemy lines ready to tap rebounds in. It’ll be close, but of a nail biter, but thinking filthier pulls it out with a 4-1 win. 

Fuzz vs. Corealers Hookers

What do you get when you get two skilled teams and one man named Lee? An exciting game… except when Lee is on the court (jkjkjk). Fuzz had a good crew, hopefully not too mouthy a Hookers have a pretty good roster, with some pretty high caliber ladies in addition to their strong male-identifying contingent. Close game but 3-2 Hookers. Fuzz, be prepared to pay up – we only take cash. 

Lbs vs. What the Puck

White  vs light orange, sweet vs citrus… whatever you get the picture. Lbs is likely your usual high caliber team captained by Frey and WTP is your wonderfully fun loving team of Emily Moore, Suzy, and Hogg. Bottom line, Lbs is usually stacked with string D and WTO usually is stacked in great personality, we always hope good hearted wins out, but unfortunately a deep bench of skill probably will… 5-1 Lbs.