Week 9 Previews
As this is my first time writing anything for BTSH, I understandably am a bit nervous. I can’t remember if I was bored at work or drinking when I volunteered to write previews on a Facebook post (maybe both?!) To keep with the theme of this year, I consulted Spotify for a list of one hit wonders from the last 20-30 years.
Poutine Machine @ Skyfighters
“They didn’t lose anyone last year?”
“They’re 6-1, on a six game winning streak?!”
“They’re tied for the 3rd best record and leading their division?!!”
Yes, the Skyfighters have arrived and they’re not going away.
Baby got back(check). SBJ might be gone, but that still leaves Poutine’s other young guns who can run 100M only a hair slower than Usain Bolt and still have the energy to score goals and then celebrate by funneling beers on the sidelines while waiting for their next shift.
There’s a storied history between these two teams in recent years, with Poutine having the upper hand. Will this game change that? I’m trying to remain independent, so I consulted everyone’s favorite subway psychic, Keano, for a prediction. Poutine will win in an overtime thriller, 3-2.
Dark Rainbows @ Denim Demons
I imagine that the night before games, the Demons sit around a table, pound their fists on the table, do some weird chant and then all drink whiskey, vodka, lager and cider in quick succession. This might explain the number of wins they have?
Is there a nicer team than the Rainbows? They always seem so happy. A couple weeks ago, they lost to Fresh Kills and they were ecstatic that they put up four goals in the game.
As history has shown us, good often doesn’t prevail. The Demons are going to squeak out a victory 2-1.
What the Puck @ Cobra Kai
Cobra Kai with their goalie tandem of Casca and Campbell started off hot, 6-0. Since then, they’ve dropped two games and Fresh Kills is right below them in the standings.
Has any team been more inspiring the last couple years than WTP? Through solid play and more poaching than The Smith does during weekend brunch, Hogg has turned a fourth division team into a solid second division title contender.
WTP is still reeling after losing to the biters and comes hungry. They extend Cobra Kai’s lose streak to 3. 3-2.
Butchers @ Fresh Kills
The Butchers lost Cheeky to the Hookers right as the season started (probably some other players too, but what team hasn’t) and have only won two games this year. I’m sure they’re wishing the skateboarders staged some sort of protest, forcing this season to be cancelled.
Just like Corporate America, the Fresh Kills had a booth at the Colby career fair, where they recruited heavily. They started off a little slow, but have been on a tear since and are poised to go deep in the playoffs.
FK 6, Butchers 1
Rotten Math @ Gremlins
The Gremlins were in last season’s final four and this year, they’re 1-6. Most teams have lost a couple players due to the pandemic, but Jamie, Erich and their other ringers are nowhere in sight this year.
I personally like math, so I’m not sure why out of all the possible permutations of Gut Rot and Math, they chose Rotten Math. I’ll chalk it up to love.
Gremlins magically spawn superstar players overnight and win 3-1.
Mega Touch @ Riots
Can’t you see Julie bopping on the sidelines to some Hanson?
The Riots got their first point of the season when they forced the Demons to OT last week. They have a good core of talent, they just need a consistent goalie and a bit of good luck.
The Riots have been playing better as of late, and this is the week they get their first W. 3-2 in OT
Gouging Anklebiters @ Lbs
The Lbs have been ravished by injury and spotty attendance. They’re fighting to stay in the first division, although their win last week proves they shouldn’t be written off so quickly.
Rich made me promise to write about Hero. I despise this song, but Hero is a good boy.
Anyway, after an 0-3 start, Probie’s rebuilt squad is 3-1-1 in their last five games.
This can go either way, but I’m going to put the Lbs on top 4-2.
Rehabs @ Filthier
Understandably, people think of Cherie and the ladies when the Rehabs come up, but with much of past season’s roster gone, their defensive play has allowed them to stay competitive this season.
Does Filthier wish James and Ann would change their minds and move back? Or maybe their wish is just to win back to back games and stay in the first division.